This article is part of a series of contributions.

Besides all this wishful thinking about what a cannula could do better, there's another question that needs to be clarified. How am I supposed to call for help?

At the moment, I simulate a leakage with my jaw and lips and thus set off the alarm. That will stop as soon as a cannula is stuck in me. Then the respirator takes over everything. A premature stroke, as I can currently trigger by leakage, is not possible with a cannula. And the alarm doesn't work with it either, unfortunately.

I have requested another eye control, but the roads are .long. The original aid supplier has taken the product out of the range (wonder why). He does not have a comparable alternative on offer. Just some ancient all-in-one PCs and tablets - at least in my world it's 2023 and computer parts from 2016 are old in my opinion - that have approval as assistive devices with the eye control software and can therefore be sold at extortionate prices. The cash register will pay.

So again I have to find a provider who can bill my health insurance. The usual ordeal of a home visit follows. To determine my needs. I get it. Half a year has passed since the last half-day appointment with the previous provider. I have certainly learned to speak again since then.

And then there is also the question of what I do when the poorly developed software hangs up or the iris camera loses focus as an input device once again. Well, good question. I don't have an answer to it yet.

None of this is easy. I have already had the opportunity to make some momentous decisions in my life. Investment decisions, for example, are easy for me. Even if they were made "on instinct" and not objectively considered. I have fallen flat on my face often enough. It's best to learn from such mistakes. At least one should.

I also make fundamental decisions about my personal career swiftly and bindingly. Whether it is to refuse to work for reasons of personal conviction and to accept termination without notice without grumbling, ... To nevertheless invest 100,000 € (which I absolutely do not have and cannot find) when founding a company, ...

I find it surprisingly difficult to say that now is the right time to have a tracheotomy. The decision to have a PEG was somehow easier for me. Today, when I think about going to hospital for the next planned operation, the first thought that comes to my mind is completely different: anything but with this nursing service. I can't afford that, financially and health-wise. Disorganised chaos, unsterile work (and making fun of how they supposedly did everything wrong in the hospital and how - quote - "retarded" everyone else is) have already cost me enough.

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