Dear Diary,

to this day I'm fascinated by the fact that at 43 years old I'm obviously already part of the age group we used to call "goths" when I was a kid. Instagram is too much advertising and BS for me. If I say anything about Facebook, my carers laugh at me. Who still have Facebook today. And yet another blog, nah, not hip enough or anything.

But I'm quite pleased with the readership figures. Listed exclusively by content on Google, no advertising whatsoever, hardly more than a handful of posts and still around a hundred page views a day is quite nice. In any case, it strengthens my motivation to continue.

If I had a care service and a let's say not completely unknown ALS patient as a client... who writes things in the group like.

Obviously, I was too generous and too spendy in the past. As a result, since the New Year, I have drunk alcohol worth well over € 2,000 without my knowledge.

A patient with whom the head of the nursing service (PDL) and the management have so far only been to crisis talks and have otherwise not shown up once... A customer whose health insurance finances more employees than the nursing service has hired for me... the patient who has been hoping for the promised improvement for months and has been waiting for a personal conversation for weeks... Zefix, and how I would read his blog.

Those who follow me, as they say in new German, already know quite a lot about me. They also see where I have problems and what my criticisms are.

And those who follow me know that I can have the patience of a saint when it makes sense. But if my patience is exploited too often and then at some point my patience thread snaps, then there is no turning back for me. We are on the verge of that right now. My care provider should be aware of this too. These lines are my last cry for help to my care service. I will probably send this page to the large distribution list.

I can already imagine the reactions. My legal opinion is wrong despite successful studies. I am mistaken. I don't remember correctly. I have forgotten something. I must not be so critical, there is no staff on the market. I should have informed the management earlier. I would have promised that last time.

Yes, I have. And no, I will not inform the management if a caregiver does not wash his hands after doing his own business.

I don't know how to close this thought. Such absurd and abstruse things are happening here... Where the hell have I landed?