Over the years in care, I have experienced many things that I would like to share with you. It's often the little things in life that put a smile on our faces. Not enough material to fill a story for my blog. But too bad to be forgotten right away. So I'm going to take a few statements out of context, exaggerate them and take you into my very own daily soap. No kidding, you can't imagine. Life simply writes the best stories.
All the names are alienated, as usual. Well, okay, except for mine. As you know, I don't mince my words and say what I think, sometimes bluntly, but always honestly. If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask me.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Karl[/su_label]Now someone has taken my protection off the bed again.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]That was me. I'm not going to buy a bed frame for almost €3,000 from KARE and then stick nappies around your feet because you don't have eyes in your head.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]On the left the tape is too low, could you please make it higher?
[su_label type="important"]Carer Ken[/su_label]They are the same left and right.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]We all know I have perceptual problems. Will you please make it higher anyway?
[su_label type="important"]Carer Ken[/su_label]It doesn't get any higher.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Okay. I'll close my eyes and open my mouth so that the bleeding gums can run out.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Ken[/su_label]I can see in your eyes that you are tired, you don't mean it.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Okay.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Susi[/su_label]Does your toe still hurt? (squeezes toe)
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Yes.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Susi[/su_label]I can't see anything. (continues to press on toe)
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Hurts.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Susi[/su_label]But you no longer have an infection. (keeps pressing the toe and only stops when I start typing, obviously pissed off).
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label](asked his handsome nurse after the suction). Did you just say "Patrick, so low!"?
[su_label type="important"]Carer Nino[/su_label]Your chairs are really uncomfortable. You should have a look at Relax, they have such great armchairs with a reclining function. Even with massage.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]They're from KARE, they can't afford to sell uncomfortable chairs. And so far everyone has told me they're super comfortable.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Nino[/su_label]They don't sit on there for eight hours a day.
. . .
(A few days later)
[su_label type="important"]Carer Nino[/su_label]If you need me, call me. I have to lie down on the couch next door. Your armchairs give me a backache.
. . .
(A few more days later)
[su_label type="important"]Carer Nino[/su_label]Have you had a look because of the Relax lie down?
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Don't take this the wrong way, I don't mean any offence. I'm not buying a couch so that my carers can work even less.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]My nose is closed.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Jerry[/su_label]Can't be, then you wouldn't be able to breathe.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]I'll be more precise next time. I feel like I can't breathe. Nose suction and nasal spray please.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Jerry[/su_label]Is everything all right?
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]It's all right.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Jerry[/su_label]Why are you like that? It was a joke.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]When I feel like I can't breathe, I find it hard to take it amusingly when I'm told "That can't be.".
[su_label type="important"]Carer Jerry[/su_label]You sometimes say things that I don't find funny.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Like in kindergarten. For example?
[su_label type="important"]Carer Jerry[/su_label](thinking) I can't think of anything.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Then let me know next time. It's certainly not intentional if that happens.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]I'm about to tattoo a line on the back of my head with the text "If you can read this, the headband is too low".
[su_label type="important"]Carer Max[/su_label]The new Netflix series is finally coming tomorrow.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]I could cancel my Netflix subscription. I haven't watched anything for a year.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Max[/su_label]I've been through all the series.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Funny story. Berta wanted to change the view on the ventilation but didn't know how. Had Charlie on the phone, typing wildly and switched off the ventilation. Didn't even notice. Only when I wrote. Luckily I was sitting at the computer. If ventilation is off, the alarm doesn't work either. I can still hear her counting one, two, ... and I think to myself, this can't be true. There is exactly one single function where you have to confirm a countdown for three seconds and that is switching off.
(true story, I swear by everything you want)
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]The extractor is so quiet.
[su_label type="important"]Carer Mathilde[/su_label]Yes, but why?
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Switching on helps.
[su_label type="default"]Paddy[/su_label]Well, that's the way it is with weed. You can buy it for your own use, but you can't sell it. But you are not allowed to possess it, not even for your own use. However, possession for personal use is tolerated and is not punishable. And we wouldn't be German if that were all there was to it. In Bavaria, personal use is three to four grams. Depending on how good the police officer is. If your family knows him well, five can be okay. In Berlin it's standardised. Thirty grams everywhere. Incidentally, I got the best MDMA from an undercover officer I used to party with when I was still taking photos for clubs. That was twenty years ago, that's crazy. I'm sure everything is completely different today. (wink smiley)
