Part 3 from 3
Shit has to be learned.
New day, new luck. Have you already digested yesterday's post? Well, I'm only moderately. To be honest, my enthusiasm for writing about my ridiculous Pippifax problems has not yet returned. And this should be the shortest part by far. If you missed the first two, you can find them here:
- The thing about the thing - Nothing in our lives can be taken for granted.
- The thing about the thing - problems that mean the world.
I haven't reached the end of the line yet. Let's start with that. It involves a lot of trial and error, and it takes a lot of time and patience if no one can give you a sensible suggestion. Mind you, anyone can give you advice. Only sensible suggestions that are also realistically realisable, that's another story. A rather empty sheet of white environmental paper made of apple waste from the food industry. Oh yes, there is such a thing. See here.
Rarely have I found it so difficult to find the right entry point. And to be clear about what and how to convey information and tips for those affected here without being boring. In my head I feel such a competition between the topics I write about and the really important things that are happening out there in reality. I already mentioned it, my problems seem almost irrelevant to me.
But so what? You've made it this far. There must obviously be a reason that keeps you here. So let's just start with an overview of the medications and methods that allow me to have a reasonably regular digestion and elimination process. Or not, because some of the recommendations, at least for me, turn out to be humburg.
| Drug / Method | Dosage | Effect / Effect |
|---|---|---|
| Lefax® Chewable Tablets | you can take tons | pure and absolutely no effect. You don't even get fresh breath from it. The taste is also rather middling. It tastes like nothing that has passed by the caraway and fennel. It is actually strange that Lefax has no effect on me at all. It is based on a substance called simeticon. And it does have an effect on me in and of itself. See the next product. |
| Sab simplex suspension | You can drink it like water | The only medicine I know of with fewer side effects than water. No kidding, the package insert is shorter than Aqua's. Lets face it, the only active ingredient, oh, I'd rather call it "substance with an effect" is simeticon. It's a foam killer and therefore quite effective in preventing the formation of farts, which in turn can soothe the entire gastrointestinal tract. In acute cases, I resort to it. For regular use, it is far too inefficient and expensive for me. |
| OMNi-LOGiC® and OMNI BIOTIC® | 1 sachet in 200 ml water in the morning on an empty stomach | It's another one of those things that has been recommended to me, especially by all sorts of carers over the years. It certainly has its raison d'être, for sure. But not for the treatment of ALS. My digestion works great. I don't have a damaged intestinal flora or anything like that. It's all just window dressing, nothing needs to be built up. To get to the point, I prefer to burn my money by investing in sustainable shares. And between you and me, it does make you a little bit suspicious that it didn't get a PZN and that the health insurance companies don't cover the costs. |
| Digestive tea and consorts | never mind | Guys, forget it. Homeopathy does not work. Imagination, faith and placebos work. I have already tried it myself. It was over twenty years ago, but the statute of limitations may not have expired yet. Don't worry, it's nothing tragic, but you don't have to challenge it. |
| MOVICOL® | 1 sachet to 100ml water every other day | Movicol, yes. Difficult. Well, Movicol primarily acts as an emollient for me. It certainly also stimulates the peristalsis of the bowel. So it's a catalyst for forward movement in the gut. For my bowel, the forward movement is not sufficient for evacuation. This may be quite different for patients with more abdominal muscles. You will have to try out for yourself what works best for you, if it concerns you, I mean. I have established a two-day rhythm for myself at the moment. My stomach and I manage quite well with that. If I take one bag every day, I often feel unwell. My gastrointestinal system goes haywire. It would actually be interesting to see how half a pack a day would do. Because I notice the difference immediately. Today, for example, is once again a glorious day of constipation. But I can't stand it mentally. After almost four months, even the last nurse has understood how to make an inhalation with 1 g salbutamol from ampoules of 500 mg salbutamol. No, no, you didn't miss anything. It wasn't a trick question and it's not April first, not at all. Now if I come up with half packs as well, who knows what I'll get. It's not necessarily that I can control it very well. Rather, I would consider making a new attempt to get high every day. |
| Dulcolax® Suppositories | before purging | Dulcolax is practically always appropriate. It works slowly but reliably for me. Provided I'm lying relaxed, my stomach and buttocks are not being squeezed by other parts of my body and I can breathe well. Because it's hard to shit in stressful situations. With or without laxatives. It's just no fun. And with Dulcolax, the paper takes a good 60 to 90 minutes. And even after this long period of time, it is not certain that it will run. I wouldn't bet on it. And I really bet on all kinds of shit, sometimes for stakes that would hurt me if I lost. Fortunately, I rarely lose because I'm such a smart-ass who has a big mouth but is almost always right. |
| MICROLAX® | directly before the discharge | Microlax is basically nothing more than an enema, prepared for travel and packaged small. If there is already noticeable stool in the rectum, this usually does not work after a few minutes or even sort after the first enema injection into the anus. If it is noticeable that the body needs it, but nothing more, I take two pieces. Apart from the horrendous price, I don't see anything against it. For anal porn, people take ten times as many enemas before every shoot and they're all still alive. Is it still allowed to write like that today? Children and young people who would rather educate themselves than be glued to their smartphones all day can read it. Hey, seriously, I'll leave the last sentence in because of you. |
| Freka-Clyss Disposable Enema | When nothing else helps | At a good €20 per application, it doesn't make much sense to me. Fortunately, the health insurance pays most of it. In terms of application and mode of action, it differs only slightly from the small Microlax tubes. It is simply more and deeper and more expensive. It is advisable to put a disposable pad underneath beforehand. It is not a clean thing to do. So far, I have not had any resounding success. The irritating thing is that there is a far better way to counter the one physical barrier. |
| Finger and hand work | when all fails | Let me put it this way. I don't want to say my ass is no longer a virgin. But my ass is no longer a virgin. I'm deliberately dragging this through the palm oil-free almond milk cocoa. Otherwise, no one dares to talk about such things. In every care service so far, I've only had one or two care workers at most who, when necessary, would shove their fingers up my backside and simply pull out by hand everything that doesn't pay rent. |
So there you have it, my personal recipe for success, how to take a proper shit every day with tetraparesis and practically no muscles. Photos to follow. A little joke. Although...
