Over the years in care, I have experienced many things that I would like to share with you. It's often the little things in life that put a smile on our faces. Not enough material to fill a story for my blog. But too bad to be forgotten right away. So I'm going to take a few statements out of context, exaggerate them and take you into my very own daily soap. No kidding, you can't imagine. Life simply writes the best stories.
All the names are alienated, as usual. Well, okay, except for mine. As you know, I don't mince my words and say what I think, sometimes bluntly, but always honestly. If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask me.
Keeper KarlNow someone has taken my protection off the bed again. PaddyThat was me. I don't buy a bed frame for almost €3,000 at KARE and then stick nappies around your feet because you don't have eyes in your head. PaddyOn the left, the band is too low, can you please make it higher? Keeper KenThey are the same left and right. PaddyWe all know I have perceptual problems. Will you please make it higher anyway? Keeper KenIt doesn't go any higher. PaddyOkay. I close my eyes and open my mouth so that the bleeding gums can drain out. Keeper KenI see in your eyes you are tired, you don't mean that. PaddyOkay. Nurse SusiDoes the toe still hurt? (squeezes toe) PaddyYes. Nurse SusiI see nothing. (continues to press on toe) PaddyHurts. Nurse SusiBut you no longer have inflammation. (keeps pressing the toe and only stops when I start typing, obviously pissed off). Paddy(asked his handsome nurse after the suction). Did you just say "Patrick, so low!"? Caregiver NinoYour armchairs are really uncomfortable. You have to have a look at Relax, they have such great armchairs with a reclining function. Even with massage. PaddyThey're from KARE, they can't afford to sell uncomfortable armchairs. And everyone has told me so far that they are mega comfortable. Caregiver NinoThey don't sit there eight hours a day.. . .
(A few days later)
Caregiver NinoIf you need me, call me. I have to lie down on the couch next door. Your armchairs give me a backache.. . .
(A few more days later)
Caregiver NinoDid you look for the Relax lie? PaddyDon't take this the wrong way, I don't mean anything bad. I don't buy a couch so that my carers work even less. PaddyMy nose is closed. Carer JerryCan't be, then you wouldn't be able to breathe. PaddyI will be more precise next time. I feel like I can't breathe. Please suck in your nose and nasal spray. Carer JerryIs everything all right? PaddyIt's all right. Carer JerryWhy are you like that? It was fun. PaddyWhen I feel like I can't breathe, I find it hard to take it amusingly when I'm told "It can't be". Carer JerryYou also sometimes say things that I don't find funny. PaddyLike in kindergarten. For example? Carer Jerry(thinking) I can't think of anything. PaddyThen let me know next time. It's definitely not intentional if that happens. PaddyI'm about to tattoo a line on the back of my head with the text "If you can read this, the headband is too low.". Caregiver MaxTomorrow the new Netflix series finally arrives. PaddyI could cancel my Netflix subscription. I haven't watched anything for a year. Caregiver MaxI have gone through all the series. PaddyFunny story. Berta wanted to change the view on the ventilation but didn't know how. Had Charlie on the phone, frantically typing away and turned off the ventilator. Didn't even notice. Not until I wrote. Lucky I was on the computer. When the ventilation is off, the alarm doesn't work either. I can still hear them counting one, two, ... and I think to myself, this can't be true. There is exactly one function where you have to confirm a three-second countdown, and that is switching off.(true story, I swear by everything you want)
PaddyThe extractor is so quiet. Nurse MathildeYes, but why? PaddySwitching on helps. PaddySo, with the grass, it's like this. You can buy it for your own use, but you can't sell it. But you are not allowed to possess it, not even for your own use. Possession for personal use is tolerated, however, and is exempt from punishment. And we wouldn't be German if that were all. In Bavaria, personal consumption is three to four grams. Depending on how good the policeman is. If your family knows him well, five can be okay. In Berlin, there are uniform regulations. Thirty grams everywhere. By the way, I got the best MDMA from an undercover investigator with whom I used to party when I was still taking photos for clubs. Twenty years ago, that was crass. I'm sure everything is completely different today. (wink smiley)
