Welcome to my world of a maximum of 3.5 hours sleep.

Has been going on for about two weeks now. Even in the presence of my sister and taking photos to explain, they tell me I'm wrong. The mask would be on correctly. Apart from pulling it even tighter - which doesn't make it blow less into the eyes, but only means that not even 3 strips of Fixomull are enough to fasten the Velcro - there's nothing you can do.

Just in case my sarcasm wasn't clear enough: no, of course you don't need armour tape to fasten the mask. And no, of course the Velcro fasteners don't always break after two days, but last for months. Nor am I aware of any physical principle of action that would justify a spontaneous 98% material fatigue within minutes of a shift change or an equally spontaneous 100% regeneration after twelve hours of service by this one caregiver.

All I need now is to be told - as I was the day before yesterday - that it would be easier with a cannula. Sure. If I scrap my car, I won't have any more transmission problems with it. That's pretty much the logic behind the cannula. My nurse has a stomachache with mask ventilation, so we just sew the patient's windpipe shut, cut open their chest and stick the ventilation tube directly into their airway. Problem solved. But that's not a goal worth striving for. Is that what my nursing service is supposed to do? If my carers showed a little more empathy instead of telling my family every time how empathetic they are, that would be a start. Mistakes happen. In my care, unfortunately, on a daily basis, but good. They just happen. But to notoriously blame the patient and tell me in the presence of my mother, father and sister that I have - quote - "perceptual disorders" and - quote - "but it's not bad, it happens", that's the lowest drawer.

But what do I know. I'm not an expert. Or what. All I know is that I was supposed to be given tablets over an hour ago, was not stored for well over three hours despite two requests, and my nurse most likely fell asleep again. Otherwise I would have heard the coffee machine long ago. But I'm probably imagining it just as much as my antibiotic "suddenly" running out because I was given twice the amount I was supposed to. Waiting for the doctor's order when I asked for it was too much to ask. After all, they are all trained doctors in my nursing service. That's why they can judge better than I can whether the mask is pressing somewhere. After all, I can't see the front of my own head. How could I judge whether the mask is crooked? Would you like a photo? With pleasure. You're welcome. Thank you. The guy with insensitivity is out.