I am not incontinent, but due to the atrophied groin, pelvis, buttocks, leg and abdominal muscles, it is difficult for me to "push out" urine residues and at times also to pee within seconds at the push of a button. You therefore don't need to stand by me all the time and hold the urine bottle or even my penis when I need to pee. Whoever taught you that in school is a nutcase.
As for the photos, I had actually intended to make something out of them somehow. But unfortunately I can't get rid of the shitty bladder catheter, at least not at the moment. So the topic of the urine bottle itself has been settled for the time being.
The starting position is supine with the head to the right.
If I have already been stored, at least pull the right blanket completely out from under my butt.
Please put the urine bottle through the right trouser leg from below. The penis goes - oh wonder - as far as it can into the bottle.
Gently place the urine bottle over the right thigh or groin. The flat side of the bottle comes down so that the urine bottle has a secure hold.
Check that there is a gradient from the opening of the bottle (top) and the reservoir (bottom). If necessary, turn my hips so that I piss into the bottle and don't piss all over myself again.
And then please give me two or three minutes of peace. I don't like being covered up when I pee, and I don't like company cheering me on. You wouldn't like that either, would you?
Here comes another one of my favourite topics. Hygiene after peeing. Well, I already don't understand how you can pee standing up. It's just disgusting for everyone who has to go to the toilet after you. Other topic. But I also don't understand how you can just shake it off and put it back in your pants, dripping wet. That's what every male nurse I've ever had does though....
Anyway, please dry my penis thoroughly and close the foreskin. I am one of the lucky ones who were not forced by their parents into a culture and religion including bodily harm (circumcision). So I still have my foreskin.
Afterwards, put it back in your pants. And one request: if you think you have to document the colour, consistency and quantity (it is explicitly not ordered?), then look at my urine in the bathroom and not demonstratively in the living room in the presence of my guests who are just visiting me. Thank you.
