It's one of those letters where I don't know what to answer. I worked in sales for several years. I also did cold calling. In other words, cold calling prospective customers and selling them - so-called leads - something or other. A hoover, a free online service offer or, in my case, telephone systems for tens of thousands of euros. Yes, not everyone had a mobile phone when I was active. The smartphone hadn't been invented yet and what htc and Apple were bringing onto the market at the time was anything but smart. After my first attempts at using it, I switched back to my Nokia Communicator. It couldn't do much apart from making calls, but you could make calls reliably. That wasn't a given at the time.
What I have learnt about acquisition over the years are three things:
- Leads always suck.
- Whoever sold you the leads is ripping you off.
- Your lead, who is supposedly so keen on your offer, usually knows nothing about this interest.
So if you want to have any chance at all as a salesperson, you have to gain trust from minute zero. Without trust, you won't sell anything. That applies then as it does today.
When I talk about selling, it doesn't have to involve money, at least not directly. I can also sell a positive image. Or free participation in a competition, free online services, free test products, all that kind of useless stuff.
The very idea of a lead is a completely stupid construct. Nobody wants to be called by a salesperson. I could also have written, don't want to be called at the worst possible moment. But that would suggest that there is a good time for a salesperson to call. There isn't. When you buy a new TV, how do you do it? Do you go to MediaMarkt to look at all the models at your leisure and then order the model of your choice online from Amazon or whoever is cheapest? Sure. Or would you prefer a Vorwerk-style salesperson to turn up in your living room with two models and give you the impression that he or she will only leave after you have signed for the more expensive model? That's what I thought...
Hoovers, Tupperware parties, televisions, telephone systems. They all want to sell you something if they really want to discuss it over the phone. Nobody calls you to ask how you are. At least they don't want to know the answer. That's just how you start if you want to gain trust. Or maybe it's even written in the sales guide.
One thing that has proven its worth is to get a rough idea of the person you are calling before making initial contact. In other words, take a look at any existing customer files or the original "enquiry" - usually some scribble from a trade fair employee or something similar. If there is nothing to be found, then take a look at the infinite vastness of the Internet. You'll always find something.
Let's take an example. Me.
The first thing I want to know is what my counterpart looks like. Of course, it's the inner values that matter. For fuck's sake, I want to know what Ruppelt looks like. He doesn't have to realise. Let's go. type patrick ruppelt into Google image search and see which sexy private photos end up on the net... oh, damn, is that it?
(Editor's note: oh yes, there may well be a few photos like that. Especially those where pretty women adorn the picture, but my name is only in the picture rights, my time as a photographer certainly had its advantages).
Yes, this is an NIV mask. It will probably be difficult to make phone calls. What other pictures are there? There! That's two more, he's in hospital and he no longer has a mask. Is he perhaps well again now?
Yeah no, has it been cannulised in the meantime?
Wow, what's wrong with him?
I'll take the plunge and click on the picture. Maybe there's a text to go with the picture. Ah yes. Here we are. First symptoms in August 2017: frequent stumbling while jogging in the forest, later nocturnal ... blah blah ... six months of pointless visits to the doctor ... admitted myself ... after seven days in hospital ... neurology ... shit! Neuro doesn't mean anything good. Neuro is always rubbish. Where was I? Inpatient, neuro, ha yes, here. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). Today: care level 5, GdB 90%, tetraparesis, lung 0%. Fuck.
This patient is probably not interested in our bonus programme, which would allow him to be exempt from paying for his third tooth at the age of 85. What am I going to do? I would write him a nice e-mail. But nobody pays me for that. There's nothing in the process manual or the customer service guide. Oh, I'd better leave it alone. Not that they'll notice anything from above
That's what it could have looked like with me on the other end of the line. Apart from the point of what others, including superiors, think of me. I really wouldn't care about that. Unlike most others who claim this, I actually have non-negotiable values. This attitude has already cost me my job once (read about it here here) and, in another case, my nursing service (see here).
And this is where it becomes difficult for me to interpret the letter from the AOK. I don't want to be unfair or personal, not at all. In a situation like this, I sometimes try to console myself with the thought of why the AI might have triggered this letter. If an AI could think, I imagine their thoughts to be like this:
Carry out weekly routine work. Let's check our customers' status changes. Boring. Wait, what's going on here?
A customer with us from birth. Green status with "AG" licence plate for 44 years. Wink smiley. The dollar... sorry, "A" licence plate stands for "Exceptional top rate payer.". LOL. The "G" stands for a particularly "Healthy Lifestyle". Customer lives vegan. Even today, i.e. with a vegan tube diet. Just missed his usual annual running or jogging performance of 1,000 km in the year of the illness. From September onwards, running took too high a toll. A toll that was too high for the patient's lungs.
Days absent due to illness in his entire career: I could count them on my two hands. If I had two hands.
The guy was the jackpot. Paid the most and wanted nothing. Even when he suffered a demanding illness, he simply paid for a lot himself.
For years, it was not worth the nervous stress for him to fight through the courts for high-calorie Fresubin drinkable food or a wheelchair. In the case of the second wheelchair, he wrote that he didn't need to apply because, although it was justified, there were plenty of others with the same needs. The same need, but with less financial means. As it is well known that there is not enough for everyone, he voluntarily renounces. What an idiot. He really believes that someone else got an extra wheelchair because of him.
When Corona started, he offered to make his recently delivered e-wheelchair, with just under a kilometre on the clock, available to other patients who continued to leave their own four walls during the pandemic. Given the severity of his illness, the risk was not justifiable and he therefore felt the wheelchair would be better off with other patients. Like I said, what an idiot.
No shit now, I know I like myself even more today than I did the day before yesterday. And that was already disgusting. We've now put these blue non-slip mats under my bum so that I don't slip on my slime. From drooling, of course. Don't.
But seriously, I have written texts like this to the AOK. Completely crazy. I really thought I was helping other sufferers. I have the letters in my digital medical file. I'd really have to look them up. Let's do a post about my biggest fails, when I lost my way and believed in social justice and the good in people. Goldig.
My point is this. For 44 years I was the cash cow who was looking for his equals. A few queries here and there, which were soon marked as resolved. And then, at the beginning of 2024, the health insurance company decided retroactively that it would not pay for the care I received during my hospitalisation in November 2023 after all, and that it would not pay for it under any circumstances. There was no legal basis for this.
This was followed by the rejection of my hospitalisation in December.
And then - you guessed it - the third rejection for the visit to the Marta Maria Hospital in Munich/Solln arrived in January this year...
So. I have no idea what industry solutions the AOK uses. But they will know that Ruppelt is suddenly no longer a cash cow. Now the guy has objected in all three cases and prepared the respective lawsuits. And even prepared further lawsuits. In the highly probable event that I fail at first and second instance. Even if I don't like it, I'll have to get the money back by suing the AOK employees for damages. The sad thing is that my prospects in this lawsuit are promising. I'm not telling you anything new. It's all well known. I announced it in my objections and wrote about it often enough in my blog. Because it concerns me more than I would like.
The point is, the AOK knows that. The AOK software knows that too. I don't know how much the AOK software knows. But I do know that it knows something.
And so the following will probably have happened during the routine check:
Oh the Ruppelt, three big red exclamation marks after so many decades of trust. We have to do something about that. I create a task for our call centre in Ingolstadt. They should call the customer, present our great online offer and make our bonus programme appealing.
It's all pure fantasy. But it could have happened like this.
Someone in the call centre immediately picks up the phone. As soon as my answering machine picks up, they hang up every time. I've seen the calls and my voicemail has its purpose. It's just not that easy for me to talk and make phone calls.
And then finally the standard letter goes out, which is in my post today. The letter that I should just ignore. Because I have come up with a useful theory to explain to myself how this could have happened. But the thought that I'm just a number with my health insurance company gives me no peace. But how else am I supposed to interpret this letter?
Patient counselling of the AOK Bayern
Dear Mr Ruppelt,Unfortunately I was unable to reach you by telephone.
As a patient counsellor at AOK Bayern, I would like to speak to you personally. I would therefore ask you to call me back on the above telephone number.
We thank you in advance for your efforts.
With kind regards
Your
AOK Bavaria - The Health Insurance Fund
What did I say in response? Nothing yet. I honestly don't know how to deal with it.
