Part 1 - Indifference
Part 2 - Ignorance

Part 3 - Impudence
Part 4 - Laziness

Where were we again? Ah yes, that's right. I invite you into the world of my thoughts. We're boarding in the afternoon of the day in question.

14:55

The PEG pump is annoying. It beeps and beeps... It feels like it's been going on for ages. Should I call her? But she must hear it. After all, I hear the lighter every time she lights a cigarette. And every word spoken by both parties to the conversation. Okay, no art, half of Grünwald hears. A little louder and she won't need a phone anymore. Must be a Yugo thing, they all do it. Zero consideration and zero respect.

My ear is still crooked. Damn, I wanted to see how long it would take her to come and check on me on her own. At least she has to lie down every ninety minutes. If she's not too lazy for that, too.

15:13

So it's not for non-swimmers. I'm drowning in drool. My ear hurts. The beeping from the PEG gets on my nerves almost as much as the lazy woman who wears out my rattan furniture on the balcony. I didn't inhale either. She doesn't seem to know that the inhaler is not a decoration on the bed.

I'm calling them now. There is no other way. I am broken.

16:18

Now the damn PEG is still beeping. I can't get my head around it. How can you be so lazy? She didn't seriously put an inhaler on me just now because I reminded her to, and then left without bothering about the stomach tube alarm. At least she asked me what I was inhaling with. She already had the wrong inhalation solution in her hand, from the demand medication for acute respiratory emergencies.

And the inhalation is ready, yes. Actually, I should cough and nasally aspirate, but we can't even manage the simple aspiration through the mouth. Although I even have a video of it. Unfortunately, she's not interested in that either and prefers to go smoke. Just go, even while the video is still running. Twice I have tried it. Then I lost interest. A friend who was there the second time looks at me, looks after the new girl as she stomps towards the aisle... looks at me, stares into space. She couldn't think of any words for it. What a bizarre situation that was.

Back to the scene of the story. At least oral aspiration is necessary after inhalation. But it's not that easy. It could turn into work. Now we are seriously discussing the fact that I am supposedly already bleeding from the throat because we are suctioning so deep in the throat. Dude! I've already explained to you several times that it's gum bleeding because the mask is too tight. Do you still get it? It can't be from the throat. She's putting the catheter in her mouth way too far to the right. It rolls up every time, really every time. If not in the cheek and gums, then on the palate. It's never been in the throat. It's clear to me why. She grits her teeth and squeezes her eyes shut when she sucks me off. I find it difficult to work with her eyes closed. Maybe we'll try it with her eyes open first.

20:39

We don't have any more catheters. She just throws them in the bin after every use, even though I've already explained to her five times that I find such an insane production of unnecessary plastic waste disgusting. And I was just about to report on the success. With a lot, a lot of patience, we've just finished the first time in, let me lie, four services? Five? Shit, I don't remember, totally blocked it out or have no clue what's wrong with me. My toe hurts like hell, my ear is sore, my bones hurt like hell. Maybe because I was "stored" without blankets. She said that's a good thing. But who am I to say. What do I know? I'm not an expert.

Oh, dear. The mask pinches like hell. Since I was scared to death the other day, I'd rather have a facial decubitus than no mask at all, because my nurse is standing in front of me with the thing, completely perplexed, and wondering what it was like. What goes where exactly now? No thanks, I've had more than enough near-death experiences this year. Fold.

I have been lying in my own saliva for over three hours. By now I don't care. Shoulder, neck, back, all soaked. What the hell. Soon there will be a shift change. Then everything will be... well, it can't get any worse soon.

Sometime during the night

There. The most important things of the day are caught up on. Man, am I exhausted. How unnecessary all this is. Yes, I repeat, I just can't deal with stupid people, and I can't deal with lazy people three times over. I don't understand these people. I don't want to understand them either. And I can't stand to be around them. There really is a limit somewhere. This person has clearly crossed the line. Or should I say overdone? Anyway, not overstayed. I threw her out. And because she doesn't listen to me and ignores all my instructions, I let my team leader know. I've tried to talk to her in person often enough to no avail. She probably doesn't care anyway. Just like everything else.

Because you held out so well and because you should always end with something nice, you now get your reward. Let me know.

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