Dearest Diary,
you won't believe it. My nurse was already packing my bag.
Hospital.
Due to bleeding gums?
Dude!
He is moderately enthusiastic about the idea of going to the centre of Munich today. There in the ambulance, because the ordered intensive care transport came in 0 % of the cases so far. Instead, a simple crane transport comes without a doctor and the helpers are not allowed with patients requiring ventilation. So it would be compulsory for my nurse to come along. But before that happens, we first wait for the stretcher. For insurance reasons, it takes five ma, maids or divers to carry my 50 kilos of live weight. Not that I'm not aware of this, and I stress every time that we need a stretcher. So? How are the odds? How many times did the two extra helpers with special slings come right along? That's right. Never. Last time my carer didn't order it because he might have... oh I don't know why he forgot half of it, I'm not even asking anymore. When the people from the crane transport enter your flat on Monday morning and the first question is
"Why does the whole flat smell like vodka?"
Monday, 10 a.m. in Grünwald. Question of patient transport.
...and your nurse just told you it wasn't him, but just so I know, I'm out of vodka; you know.
Experiences that I can do without today. So does my nurse. We agree with my doctor that we will wait for the lab.
This can't be happening. I'm not going to the clinic just because of some crap like that. I'm not. My nurse is getting creative. And I'm getting sympathetic. Let's just stuff oral hygiene sticks between your teeth and your lip. Every ten minutes, take them out and breathe halfway normally again. Take a breather. And put in a new stick, the same game all over again. Another ten minutes of stuffing, pushing, panting, hyperventilating. And the next break. Pfleger can smoke while I regenerate. And then I smoke again. Dries out the mouth and constricts the blood vessels. Then it's straight back on with a new stick.
We'll repeat this until never-never. I didn't even keep track of how many rounds that was. In other words, I've smoked so much cannabis, I'd even be able to fall asleep with my mouth open and the alarm going off all the time as the saturation level kept dropping.
And indeed, the lab is taking its time today - it's late afternoon - and there are signs of success. The bleeding is getting less. Perhaps it has helped that, on the advice of my doctor, we have stopped disinfecting and rinsing the mouth. In case of doubt, this destroys more of the natural oral flora than it does any germs. Mind you, we don't have a result from the smear test yet. Who knows if there is even a "non-mechanical" cause. My nurses are convinced that there is, but my doctor can't find anything like that so far. Because of the poor clotting, a vitamin K deficiency is conceivable. Blood and saliva samples will provide information.
The evening is approaching in big steps. The lab is mostly here. We have to ask for a few more values. The result is not quite conclusive. The values are much too good. Hm... I've heard that sentence before. It seems to be stereotypical for ALS patients. On paper we are in perfect health. When I think back to my lumbar puncture, I have never seen such a clear fluid. The aqua from my ventilation doesn't look so pure and clean. And yet you can practically watch my body decay.
Be that as it may, there is no reason to take medication. Tomorrow we'll get the rest of the results and then we'll see. For now, all that matters is that the bleeding has stopped. I am looking forward to the night ahead. Sleeping at last. Sleep? Not a chance. Knife's edge won't let me leave that easily...
