Phew!

Dear Diary,

can I even put you through that? But if not to you, then to whom?

  • Telling my carers directly seems embarrassing. I am not their mum. I can't possibly be expected to explain to people that you flush the toilet after use. One push of a button, that's all you have to do. But you have to press that button, I can't take that away from you.
  • My team leader (female, Colombian) has no authority over my nurses. She lacks the assertiveness to make a difference. She's supposed to explain to these seasoned guys from Yugos (sorry, it's just extremely relevant background information) how to clean a toilet? Logical.
  • The head of nursing (PDL) has known since last September what a messy bunch my nurses are. Remedial action was promised, but the PDL has not been seen and nothing has changed.
  • The care commissioner has promised several times to take care of this. She adulates herself with self-praise, although there is absolutely no reason for it. Fortunately, she no longer works for my care service anyway.
  • The management has been on board since the beginning. Apart from empty promises and ridiculous lamentations, they have done absolutely nothing in six months.

For weeks I have been trying to meet any responsible persons. PDL, GF, anyone who has something to say ha.

We had also made several appointments in the past weeks. But without exception, all of them were cancelled by the management. Most recently, I received two new appointment proposals, both of which I confirmed immediately. I'll give you three guesses. The management cancelled both appointments again by email. In the same breath as she told me to sign and return the enclosed performance records immediately at noon so that she could settle up. Of course, the main thing is to keep the money rolling in. After all, it's not about the customer here.

At this point, the patient will have to put up with the horrible things he has to experience day in, day out, in his diary. The publication of this is the last cry for help before I change nursing services.

What is it about this time and what is the hideous cover picture about?

Yesterday I had a big visiting day. Friends were there. And my sister is visiting from Spain, where she lives. My parents also came for this festive occasion. What do I have to listen to as an attempted good host? Whether I am aware of how dirty the whole flat is. That the nurses' extra toilet is disgustingly filthy and that they are now cleaning the toilets.

I can't express how I would have liked to disappear into the ground because of the unbearable embarrassment. It was only the night before that the night shift told me proudly that he had cleaned both toilets. He stood there as if I would give him a medal for picking up a cleaning rag. Interestingly, he told me exactly the same thing the night before. I probably should have noticed it sooner.

I am rarely speechless. Here, too, I am not at a loss for words. But I can't write what I think and feel here without being abusive. So I'll leave it at that. For today.