This article is part of a series of contributions.

TK. Tracheal cannula. Not so easy, as I realise once again in the last few pages. I remember saying something like that. Besides, these have all been topics concerning masks.

As for the question of whether I would go under the knife again for another invasive change in the direction of a cyborg, I can't answer that with a "yes". Because I don't see a single reason that doesn't depend on - only on - how skilled the nurse is in using the mask.

So let's look at the improvements that a tracheostoma would have. Might have. In theory, could have.

  • I could count on a 30% improvement in my quality of life. Especially because of the suction. That's what one of my nurses told me.

  • Suction then goes directly and is much easier. My comment: for whom? I have no problem with suction. It's those carers who rarely find the neck, not me.

  • I would rarely be so slimy.

    Comment from me: But in order to achieve this, don't we want to start with milder means that we have long known to be effective? I mean such banal things as regular storage. Or using the cough machine at least three times a day, as recommended by my respiratory therapist?

    I'm just saying... It would be nice if we could agree on a basic line. It can't be that one and the same nurse tells me how beneficial a cannula would be because of the secretion and then in the next breath tells me that I don't need the cough machine. Come to think of it, the person I have in mind has never switched on my Cough Assist, I don't think. It's not up to me. It's on the prescription, on my daily schedule and I said so.

  • I would never have breathing difficulties again.

    Comment from me: Well, I haven't really had that since last year. At most once as a result of an incorrectly fitted mask. Or after I got the wrong inhalation. Or forgetting to switch on the humidifier. Even if I'm not stored regularly, that happens. So the argument just goes round in circles. Very thin ice.

  • Brushing your teeth would be easier.

    Yes, enough of my carers have never held a toothbrush here. So that's not the decisive argument for a cannula.

  • Combing the hair would be much easier.

    Of course, but I also notice that only half of my groomers have ever held my brush in their hands. And if it's too stressful for you with the mask, you can comb my hair with a mask, it's not like that.

  • The morning facial would be less stressful for me.

    Yes, that may be so. But if I compare these 30 seconds a day with a week in a nerve-racking clinic, then the clinic clearly gets the short end of the stick. I can't even think about the time afterwards when something gets infected again at home because everyone is "retarded" in hospital anyway.

  • Shaving would be easier.

    Yes, that too may be true. But even for that, I'm not going to have a hole the size of a euro coin cut into my neck. These are not real arguments.

Real arguments. Well, that's one thing. I know I have high expectations. That's what my girlfriend often tells me. I still have two arguments. They could be interesting. I'll take a closer look at that next.